My personal bias is to seek psychotherapy from a psychoanalyst. Psychoanalysts are the most extensively trained mental health professionals. After completing their training as psychiatrists, psychologists or social workers, they undertake a 5-10 year period of training devoted to human development and character formation. The focus is on changing character.

How do you know whether someone is a psychoanalyst? The American Psychoanalytic Association has a list, of such persons, online, as do many local institutes. To be sure, this is my bias---I am a psychoanalyst who provides psychotherapy and psychoanalysis. In contrast to the behavioral, "here and now" focus, the therapist will focus on helping you deepen your self-understanding and self-awareness. This can be an intense process and may take some time. However, if you work with someone skilled, you may find it to be quite liberating---with hard work, you may find yourself identifying and pursuing your life goals.

After identifying the names of analytically trained therapists in your community, make a list of them. Then, ask around. If you have friends who are therapists, ask them what they know about these people. If not, ask your non-therapist friends. On the basis of that feedback, go meet with one of them. Unless something egregiously wrong occurs, give yourself a chance to get to know the person--and give them a chance to get to know you. Tell them as much as you can about yourself and your difficulties.

One more thing. Therapy can involve a long-term commitment. If you have one of those insurance plans that only covers 20 sessions a year, and money is a concern, than read about how to find good low fee psychoanalyst.